Final Breakup VII

24 Mar

Recently I’ve learned a lot of important lessons.  Many of these lessons include social interaction but mainly they’ve been lessons in how to think.  After watching “What the Bleep Do We Know?” I have been making a conscious effort to turn my thoughts around.  When I have a negative thought, I counter it with a positive thought.  Lately this has been very important in my life considering my unsavory relationship-related circumstances.  There’s so much you really start to see when you wipe the negativity-cobwebs from your eyes…


One thing that has become very clear to me is breaking up is like a game.  SquareSoft needs to get on that one pronto, I smell a strategy RPG in the making…  we’ll call it “Final Breakup”.  The key players will be you and the ex…  instead of summons and spells you’ll have best friends and fag hags waiting at your disposal to cast out some fury on the ex.  Then on the other side, people you once knew and loved turn to demons and lash out against you like the people they once were never would have before.  A once serene and peaceful blue sky blackens as the eve of a storm rolls in…


Strategy in Final Breakup is key.  Any attack you play on the opponent is amplified and shot back at you.  It’s important not to give them anything they could possibly hold over your head or throw in your face later during the break up, because after the final level of the game MORE bonus levels start coming out of the woodwork, and in these bonus levels the opponent call use any ammunition it’s been given through the course of the game.  Things are fine, you think the final credits to the game are about to roll and then POOF a demon from the first level delivers a painful blow and the fight ensues again.


There is no offense in Final Breakup.  There is no way to fight and succeed, the best thing to do is defend yourself from the big attacks then roll with the punches with the smaller ones.  The most important spell you can acquire is more effective than any lesser imps and sprites in your arsenal…  an invisibility spell called “Fatigimus Careless” which basically means you’re tired of caring enough to fight so eventually your opponents attacks loose their power and the game finally ends.


When it comes down to it the game doesn’t end until you stop playing.  There is no such thing as an easy break up, no matter what both parties loose life points and sometimes by the end of the game one or both feels like they’re near death.  Just remember, as long as the controller is in your hand and the console is on the game will never end and Final Breakup will turn into Final Breakup XII. 


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