Barren Old School Morm

17 Nov

hIt’s been a relatively slow weekend, there was almost NOTHING bloggable.  I wrote one of the worst blogs to date, seriously it was bad I had to take it down.  It’s not that it was offensive, it was just “special class” quality and literally NOBODY read it.  I fallowed it up with a blog bitching about the Republican Party falling apart… big surprise.  I scoured the internet, too.  There was really NOTHING interesting happening this weekend.  My life was 100% un-interesting as well.  I’ve had the weirdest week of allergies so Saturday I had this weird vertigo thing going on and my left ear was bothering me.  I ended up spending most of the day with an ear full of hydrogen peroxide.

I talked to my mom and my sister more than anyone this weekend.  Both are school teachers, my mom recently retired.  There’s a brother in the mix too but lately I talk to the women of the family a lot more because I’m a big flaming queer, something my mom and sister have just recently fully accepted.  In fact those were the two most influential people during my gayvorce earlier in the year, and discussing relationships with my ultra conservative Christian mother and sister is something I thought could NEVER be possible.  Lately I see myself talking to the two of them just as I used to see them talking to each other, when I call my mom she doesn’t just lecture me and give me motherly advice like she did when I was a kid, we actually gossip and discuss all the “grown up” things she used to hush around me.  Considering my sister is 13 years older than me and my brother is 15 years older I’ve always been the baby, and finally being a real part of the adult world is really hard to get used to…

Anyway, my brother and sister both have teenage children that give them respective levels of hell.  I’m the lucky one, I just have a jilted psyche that gives me hell.  I’ve totally gotten the second hand experience of kids through my siblings so I have no desire to reproduce for myself.  Besides I’ve only got about 7 more years or so before I’m 35, and if I had kids at 35 I would be 57 before they finished with school and were fully independent.  That’s 22 years.  Honestly I’m just not the type of person to sacrifice 22 years on the life of another person; the world is populated enough without my contribution.

So is that wrong?  Does it make me a bad human?  Do we have purpose on Earth as living beings besides propagating our species?  Is that not the Meaning of Life?  Personally I play the Gay Ace as my get out of jail free card with having kids.  It makes sense to me that by being gay your drive to have children is diverted to cute boys and party music.  It’s like frogs in nature, if there are too many in a single area they stop reproducing.  That doesn’t mean gays shouldn’t have kids if they WANT them, but we don’t have to in order to be a productive member of our species.


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