I think I could go out right now and find something to make me physically happy. I could make one call and I would feel accomplished in some way, that I can find someone begging for my body that will at least give me a temporary ego boost. But it isn’t sex that I want. It isn’t another warm body pressed against mine. It’s the love behind it. I miss the companionship of finding someone where I left when I get home. It’s the satisfaction of knowing that yes, someone is there to share my life with me.
Its not that I can’t manage by myself, I’m so used to being single at this point I can’t remember what its like to feel loved. There are those who love me, those who will always love me and I know that holds some kind of truth in my life but there’s something inside me that says I’m meant to find more. That this solo existence isn’t what life was made for. Call it the vision I had. Call it hope. Something just screams inside me that there has to be someone out there, even if it wasn’t a predestined someone, just someone to make my magnet attract. Someone there to activate my poles and draw me to theirs, somehow I think that’s the only way to truly experience life once you’ve experienced it alone.
My world has been dark for a year now and its finally getting to the point that I can see light. The hues around me are beginning to brighten but I want someone to share this light with. Plato said that we only know in this life what we already knew, but I think the way around this is to join with another person, a person that compliments what you already know to join together as one energetic being, drawing from each other’s sources as much as your own, working off mutual knowledge as a team to ascend this life into a completely new life with new knowledge and possibilities.
If Plato said we’re all living in a cave watching a film strip, what fun is watching a movie alone? When you see a movie with someone you share an experience, you leave the theater talking about it, you know where each other laughed, you know where each other cried, you know so much more about a person just by the simple act of watching a movie. Sure you can talk about it with your friends hours, days, or years after seeing it but you still didn’t share that connection of viewing it together.
In physics they’ve discovered forces that rule this physical plane, but what about the forces that govern what happens after we leave here? What if our emotions are the forces that progress our spirit through eternity, and love is what draws us together. Its like little soap bubbles, they attract to the ones they’re attracted to and become one until all the little soap bubbles are one big bubble. There’s no explanation as to why one soap bubble will merge with one instead of another, it’s a force we can’t comprehend.
That is love. It’s the force that draws us close to the one we fit best with to become a part of the whole, so we can keep popping into each other lifetime after lifetime, making bigger and bigger bubbles until from the bubbling froth we all get too big and pop into something completely new. This bubbling froth of the goddess’s womb is from where we’re produced, and to where we will go is just more knowledge and possibility.