Years ago I made friends with Mack Gloves, a con artist supposedly in the UK. He wanted to prepay for 10 massage visits in some ridiculous amount of like $5g’s. We bantered back and forth, I played stupid if for no other reason than to amuse myself. He actually sent a money order from a bank that didn’t exist. I think I ended up turning it over to the police, but now I’ve gotten bored again, and my new friend is Mr Maswell Dagi.
He Started our banter with this:
DEAR FRIEND,I AM MR. MASWELL DAGANI , A BANKER IN ONE OF THE REPUTABLE BANK IN BURKINA FASO. I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON A BUSINESS PROPOSAL OF US$2.5M (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLAR). THE DEPOSITOR OF THE SAID FUND DIED WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY DURING THE IRAQ WAR IN 2006. THE DECEASED CUSTOMER USED HIS WIFE AS THE NEXT OF KIN BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THE WIFE DIED ALONG SIDE WITH HIM DURING THE WAR.PLEASE i WANT YOU TO STAND AS THE NEXT OF KIN AND CLAIM THE FUND WHICH 40% OF THE MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU WHILE 60% WILL BE FOR ME WHICH I WILL COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY AS SOON AS THE FUND IS BEEN TRANSFER INTO YOUR ACCOUNT OK. PLEASE REPLY TO THIS MY PRIVATE E-MAIL: email@example.com,BEST REGARD,MR. MASWELL DAGANI ,BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER.
I was bored. Definitely. I responded first with this:
Thank you for calling me! How can I help? I like money, and you seem like a nice person so I can’t see any reason not to trust you. Let me know what I need to do!
Then today, I just got this back from my new friend:
Assalamu Alaikum ……………………..
+226 78 3416 67.
I am very glad for the choice i made by picking you to be my foreign partner in the execution of this transaction and truly “two good heads they say are better than one”. Naturally somebody will feel some how been presented with such an offer that comes but once in ones life time, listen i got your contact throught yahoo tounish search with my laptop when i am searching for a trusted partiner who can help me and execute this transaction, really it’s the work of Almight Allah who leads me to your private contact,But my dear I assure you of the 100% risk free of this.
Contact me on my private mobile phone. (+226-78 34 16 67)for the confidentiality of this transaction and don’t fail to give me a call immediately you got my email for more explanation concern this transaction and also you should not disclosed to the outside world for the security of my job and the success of this deal.
I found it necessary even before your demand to give you indebt explanation on this deal and to give you details and breakdown of the modality which we have to follow to achieve this highly beneficial success. I am a banker and an insider. I know the process to be taken officially in the bank to investigate and verify your claim to grant you approval as the next of kin to the late Mr.ANDREAS SCHRANNER.
My good friend i see this development as a good opportunity for me to contact you to help me put claim to this fund as his next of kin and accommodate this in your account abroad. I know you may doubt the possibility of this but i am telling you that it is as easy as a.b.c bear in mind that i am the person who submitted the information of this late bank customer to the bank board of directors.
I am in position to give you all information about this man as the bank may require from you after applying as the next of kin to claim his balance. I will like you to know that there is no risk involved for now and in future as all dealing with the bank will go through normal banking procedure and all information will equally be documented for future references.
On my own part i want you to keep this as top secret because i am still working in the bank , if they know that i am the person who gave you the information about their deceased customer, I will
loose my job, you are only required to act on my giving you information daily concerning bank decisions towards this transaction.
To remind you, this transaction is not a child’s play nor a little amount involved. We are talking of over (TWO Million, Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars), and so I will not like anybody to spoil it for me because it had taken me years to arrive at the stage of looking for a foreigner to assist me.
what i want from you is to co-company so that i can able to grab this fund into you account in your country,after the money hit to your account i will arrange how to come down to your country or any where you want us to share the money.
On hearing from you that you will not cheat or betray me and then i will draft an application letter and send to you in which you will fill and send to the bank for the smooth claim of this fund, together with the full contact of the bank on how you will apply.
Waiting to hear from you, !!!.
Thanks with best regards,
Mr Maswell Dagi.
For my last reply I pulled out one of my favorite white trash inbred personalities that only comes out when some SERIOUS shit talkin needs to occur. This is what said personality responded with:
I’m not to comfortable with this Allah talk, GOD damnit.
What the hell kinda abu dabi bullshit are you tryin to run here boy?
I’m an AMERICAN. I don’t support no googa booga terrorist crap. In America we love JESUS. And WHITE GOD. And Mary and her little Baby Jesus. And hot dogs, baseball, and bleach blondes with BIIIIIG TITS.
Go to hell you terrorist bastard. GOD don’t love you.
I love being me.