Ask DUNDERBRAIN! What’s up with Mickey and Minnie?

1 Dec

Chastity writes:

are mickey and minnie married? Cos minnie has her own house at disney land…why?

Dear Chastity,

No.  Mickey Mouse and Minnie are not married, not have they ever been.  There has never been an on-screen wedding or suggestion that there may one day be one.  Neither one wears a ring, and in my humble opinion Mickey is a little light in the loafers, if you know what I mean.  So with that being said, I have this suggestion for Minnie –


He’s obviously a homo and you’re wasting your time.  Seriously, who the hell dates the same guy for EIGHTY EFFING YEARS???  How often does our poor Minnie sit at home staring out her window hoping that one day Mickey will snap out of his “phase” and propose?  God knows Black Pete stopped barking up her tree half a century ago leaving no other suitors in her stable.

So what the ish is Disney’s deal?  Do they have no consideration for their characters who, for all practical purposes they have made real?  These are PEOPLE, anthropomorphic people that we have let into our homes for decades, can they not piss or get off the pot for any other reason than satisfying viewer curiosity?  Even though we see her from time to time as a Disney Channel icon something tells me that securing Minnie’s romantic future is somewhat of a back burner item for the people of Disney since all this Pixar crap starting coming around.


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