Fighting for the Ectasy Army by way of the Hallucinogen Platoon…

21 Apr

Tonight I witnessed a murder.  It actually happened Saturday night but I saw it on TiVo today.  The victim was music, the culprit: Pop singer Ke$ha.  Just another example of the music industry taking someone with a shred of talent and trying to juice every single dollar they can out of them before throwing them back to the real world where they can either get work on a celebrity dating or rehab show or get a job sacking groceries at the buy and bag.

I tried to included the video just so you can see exactly what I’m talking about but NBC obviously doesn’t want ANYONE to see it because they’ve yanked it completely from YouTube.  Copyright issues, my ass!  I mean it HAS to be bad when SNL, the crappiest show on network television won’t replay your performance.

First off she has to be the most awkward pop singer in history.  My cackles began with the weird little step forward/step back thing she did before she started singing, like she’s ‘gearin up’.  Then before the cape even opened up I saw exactly what she was doing with the whole astronaut backup dancers and American flag cape:  She’s trying to be the one, the only Lady Gaga.

Now you really can’t reproduce Gaga and this is exactly what she was trying to do.  As I watched with my bff, my Pet Dragon we analyzed exactly what she was copying and got it down to the song itself.  When the chorus comes on, sing along; it IS Just Dance.  It has nearly the exact same meter, rhythm, and lyrical content.  Except much like Saturday Night Live who hosted this debauchery she totally didn’t know where to end the song.

If that wasn’t enough, she came out for a second performance.  Dressed in UV war paint and a vinyl catsuit.   Really I feel bad even critiquing this because it’s so, so so bad.  Who the hell does black light paint outside an over funded head start program in the ghetto?  She looked like she was fighting in the war on drugs in the Ecstasy Army by way of the Hallucinogen Platoon.  And the song SUCKED to top it off, her cheesy super slut accent is contrived to be polite and her vocals through both performances were reminiscent of Karaoke night with the voals up way too loud and the background music over synthesized and fake like she was completely losing that Wii American Idol game.

To finish off the performances at the end of the second song as the music exits she says “it’s Saturday night!  Wanna make out?”  And I swear Sinead O’Conner’s performance where she tore up the picture of the Pope got more of a reaction from the audience.  I think it’s great that Lady Gaga has opened up doors for musicians to step outside the everyday and embark on a new side of entertainment that taps into the elements that are weird and ugly making something completely original that is new and shiny.  Then you get people like Ke$ha and Glam-bot (from this past season of American Idol, I refuse to use his name on my blog.  He’s a disgrace to his community and his artform.  Nuff said.) That music companies dress up and try to sell as new material when all they are is carbon copies to create a generic mainstream completely void of original thought and performance.

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