When I’m 35 he’ll be 55…

21 Apr

I’m getting to that age when all the young guys are starting to think I’m sexy, and that’s a bit scary to me.  I’m always meeting guys in their 40’s that have hot young 22 year old boyfriends and as horrible as it is I can’t help but wonder exactly how long will it last?

I guess I’m shallow but I just don’t really see potential in relationships where there’s a large age gap, not with myself at least so it’s hard to see in other people.  I mean right now I could date someone 20 years older than me and things would probably be cool for a while but lets take a glimpse at the long term for a second:

1 year, I’m 30, he’s 50:  I’m 30 and my boyfriend just turned 50, what more is there to say?  I’m having my gay 30’s midlife crisis and my boyfriend just hit half a century.  His radio slowly starts shifting from adult contemporary to classic rock while I’m downloading the new Radiohead Album (hopefully in the next year?) onto my iPod.

6 years, I’m 35 he’s 55:  my boyfriend just got his AARP membership invitation and my vision goes blurry in my left eye.  I start hearing things about cashing in 401K’s and “Boca Raton” while I’m finding my first grey hair.

10 years, I’m 39 he’s 59:  I’m not even 40 yet and my boyfriend is looking to retire, something I won’t be able to do for another 20 years at least.  He’s saved his entire life so he could do things like travel and putter around the house until he dies.  I’m still working on a career and establishing myself while he’s finishing up his. Oh, and he had his first “accident” this year.

21 years, I’m still 39 and he’s 70:  He’s well into retirement as I’m still in full swing.  Meanwhile he’s starting to loose his memory.  I’m a leader in my field while my partner’s health is fading.  Well, I’m at least MANAGER at Starbuck’s by then.

31 years, I’m still 39 and he’s 80:  I’m finally considering taking early retirement at 39 just in time to take care of my decrepit boyfriend!  His mind has completely gone now and he’s had a stroke so the left side of his body doesn’t work.  Now my retirement, which I have saved my entire life to enjoy is now spent as a nurse maid.  To top it off he’s a fighter so he hangs on for another 10 years or so until he lies leaving me with enough time to learn how to quilt in my retirement.

Now I realize this is horribly shallow and inconsiderate, people are supposed to love who they love no matter what, for richer or poorer, sickness and health, blah blah blah…  I don’t buy it.  MY happiness is paramount and I hate it when stuff gets too serious, and taking care of a senile old man that I’m not even… physical… with anymore is totally unappealing to me.  Plus the whole dating older guys is soooooo Roman Empire and I’m much more of an Ancient Egypt guy myself…


2 Responses to “When I’m 35 he’ll be 55…”

  1. Marvo 21 April, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    1 – You mean just because 50 is on (my) horizon, you’ve ruled me out?
    2- You will never hear classic rock coming from my radio (as I believe you young people call the wireless). If you do, shoot me. Oh, but “Gardener’s Question Time” might be heard from time to time.
    3 – Radiohead? I thought that was for the 40 somethings? Keep up with the times JT!
    4 – You will never be manager of Starbucks, or anything like it. Trust me. But successful and happy you will be. I’m not convinced that quilting will ever be your thing either.
    5 – 🙂

  2. Jt DUNDERBRAIN! 21 April, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

    no I think it’s more because you live across the pond that we’ll always be star crossed lovers Mr Strange.

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