Ask DUNDERBRAIN! My best friend loves my boobs… and he’s gay!

9 May

i have double d’s. my best friend is gay i go to gay bars. ive experienced what you are talking about. But what i want to know is why? and do you make out with girls? my best friend does but he’s gay.He’s tried to make out w/ me but i don’t want to complicate things and he puts his face in my chest every chance he gets. Why does he do this you ought to know right? I use to let it go but it’s getting ridiculous he’s all over me and i don’t get why? I would really appreciate your help. Caus i can’t ask a straight man The next time he tries to kiss me should i just let him? what’s your opinion? Should i let him see my boobs? (He’s asked)
Will that cure is curiosity maybe? So we can be normal friends

SINcerely,

Whatshouldido

Dear Whatshouldido,

Tell him to back the eff off!  He’s gay, you’re A GIRL, and it’s creepy!  I’d be willing to bet he has a lot of intimacy issues that he chooses not to deal with and vents by doing things like you described.  Just to take a stab at this guy’s personality – he’s a HUGE queen.  Am I far off by saying that?  I’ve known a lot of gay guys that like to make out with pretty much anybody, supposedly they don’t relate it to their sexuality but kissing is a really intimate act.  When I hear guys say that I ask if they would do that with their mom – usually they freak out, but really what’s the difference?  I hug my friends, sometimes a kiss on the cheek, this is the same way I treat my mom and sister. Affection can only go so far and that depends 100% on your comfort level.

I think in the times we live in sexuality has become so distorted and skewed that most people don’t know what the hell they are.  Sexuality is used as a way to get attention, now it’s actually COOL for a girl to be a complete slut – it’s empowering.  If it was a genuine expression of one’s sexuality that would be one thing, but making out with girls at a bar to get the attention of some heterosexual pig man is just sad.

I think honestly this guy is trying to obtain some kind of power over you like he probably does with most people.  He’s identified that you have barriers and by breaking those down it gives him the power and makes you inferior to him.  If it comes down to “make out with me and show me your boobs so we can have a normal relationship” I would stop hanging out with the guy.  Tell him straight up that you’re sick of it and it makes you really uncomfortable when he acts that way towards you.  If he tries to use the “but I’m gay” BS excuse then you can say “good, it shouldn’t be too hard for you then”.

People hide so many things about their sexuality now that it could come down to he being bisexual or some similar sexual deviance (tee hee) and these are his ways of acting that out.  Either way, nip that ish in the bud.  Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and if it makes things awkward it’ll pass.  Another person’s sexuality should never be an excuse for them to make you uncomfortable.

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One Response to “Ask DUNDERBRAIN! My best friend loves my boobs… and he’s gay!”

  1. Whatshouldido 27 July, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

    wow you are so right about his personality it’s scary. He totally has intimacy issues

    sorry it took me so long to respond but i found you on google then i couldn’t find this page again 😦

    Yes he’s extremely queeny too. Yep every person he meets(boyfriends) he has total power over . I use to tell him “Stop” every single time, and he used the “but i’m gay excuse everytime.

    like when we are in the pool he’ll touch my boobs but i know if i say anything he’ll be like oh i didn’t mean to we were playing it was an accident but he like pats them down. But here’s the other thing tho if he see’s them a little like if my bikini is out of place he’ll be like put those away and he’ll adjust them to cover them back up and acts like i’m annoying him. Like he almost acts like he’s mad at me???

    Plus recently i fell asleep in the car facing away from him so i was curled up and then i felt him like stroking my back but he would all go way the down to my butt crack. So i turned over. But again i know if i say something he’ll be like “i was just rubbing your back sorry for being nice”

    And he just told me at dinner the other night that every boyfriend he’s ever had he gets in fights with over me. But this is the first time he’s told me this and we’ve known each other for 6 years. He said they feel threatened. Which makes me wonder what do his boyfriends know that i don’t or what do they think???

    Like we always have fun when we hang out don’t get me wrong he’s knows me better than anyone but it’s like the stuff he does it’s like little annoying stuff i put up with caus honestly i just ignore it now.

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