The Confederate States of America, or “in defense of the south”

18 Sep

Last night I watched an awesome “cerebral comedy” called the Confederate States of America, a mockumentary about the history of our country if the Confederacy had won.  It was definitely an eye opener, and really made me appreciate exactly how free our country is.

First off, the confederate country is portrayed as having no ethical concept of human rights which I think is pretty inaccurate.  Just because the north decided it was wrong to have slaves before the confederacy did doesn’t mean that the people of the south wouldn’t have eventually gotten the idea that yeah, it’s WRONG to hold other humans as property.

They really made it seem like the North was this pious state that never held slaves when they totally did.  Sure there’s a lot of prejudice still prevalent in the south, people still use the N word, but I think that has little to do with slavery and everything to do with cultural segregation.  Racism isn’t something that’s unique to the south in any way shape or form, all over the world people segregate.  As a planet we’re not at the point of unity yet, as sad as it is it’s just a part of human nature that eventually we’ll grow beyond.

The coasts of our country seem to be the most culturally accepting because they’re both huge cultural mixing pots being the centers of migration but you see racism all around the world, NOT just in the south.  I think as a whole the south has gotten a really bad rap because in essence we’re simpler people.  We like to drink iced tea and beer sitting barefoot on our porches.  And while we’re there we may as well pick at a banjo.  AND WHAT?  What is wrong with that?  Black, white, hispanic, WTF ever you are.  We all sit on our porches and drink.  Sure sometimes the white ones use the N word.  I didn’t say we were all intelligent.  But “honkey” and “gringo” get tossed around pretty frequently too and nobody bitches about that.

They refer to the civil war as the war of Northern Aggression, as many people in the south do.  And it was.  It’s like when people first get “saved”, they decide everyone else they know needs to be saved too.  Sometimes they get really pushy in their beliefs and it gets on everyone else’s nerves.  It was the same deal with slavery.  It doesn’t mean that they were right for keeping human beings as slaves, it means that as a people they didn’t like being told what to do.  I totally understand that it was a moral dilemma for the north, they wanted to be a country free of slavery and couldn’t progress as a unified state with half the population feeling a different way.

I don’t think the south was right for slavery but I think eventually it would have been abolished even if the North wouldn’t have won.  We’re not all just ignorant hicks down here, after each generation takes power paradigms change, and just because we’re simple doesn’t mean we’re not progressive.  Being conservative doesn’t mean stupid just as much as liberal doesn’t mean better, each system works in it’s own way for the right groups of people.

I really enjoyed the movie as a whole though, it was really interesting to see the director’s take on what the world would be like if us dum lil hiks had tooken ovur the cuntree.  Kunsiderin we aint nuttin morr thenn banjo pikin massa’s lookin to whup us an unkle or a mammy.

I got some laughs.

One Response to “The Confederate States of America, or “in defense of the south””

  1. marvothememoryman 18 September, 2010 at 12:19 pm #

    You forgot “Bible bashing / God bothering”!
    What I want to know is who introduced slavery to the South in the first place.

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